You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
