come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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