Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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