i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
