I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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