Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
