She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
