cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
