No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
