So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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