The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
