Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
