singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
