I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Gay?
German.
Pity.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize