dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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