Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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