I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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