Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
