A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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