Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize