Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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