I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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