I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
If I die, sorry about rent.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
