Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
