Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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