UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
