You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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