It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
