I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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