You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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