Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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