does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
