My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize