I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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