i really wish james franco would like my vagina
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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