Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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