Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
This is my gift to your gina
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water