he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You blew him?!?!
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...