Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll

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  (402): Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll http://tfl.nu/t4li
  Replies (12) Good night (570) Bad night (963) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.

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  (312): omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies (815): Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more. http://tfl.nu/camm
  Replies (13) Good night (807) Bad night (1728)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?

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  (614): I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place? http://tfl.nu/g0k2
  Replies (21) Good night (510) Bad night (1701) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar

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  (703): Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar http://tfl.nu/zrm3
  Replies (16) Good night (769) Bad night (4018) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table

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  (813): you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table http://tfl.nu/kgfj
  Replies (25) Good night (2113) Bad night (3820) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.

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  (860): he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot. http://tfl.nu/hpow
  Replies (87) Good night (1074) Bad night (6154) Order T-Shirt
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".

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  (636): Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional". http://tfl.nu/cis7
  Replies (10) Good night (4310) Bad night (640) Order T-Shirt
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  (819): View more from Quebec

  Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Each and every day.

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  (819): Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough? (604): Each and every day. http://tfl.nu/71fx
  Replies (16) Good night (4448) Bad night (831)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer

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  (905): He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer http://tfl.nu/xvzr
  Replies (9) Good night (4647) Bad night (1120) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.

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  (248): Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy. http://tfl.nu/ck7x
  Replies (18) Good night (1233) Bad night (2431) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly

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  (859): i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly http://tfl.nu/pft1
  Replies (9) Good night (2968) Bad night (563) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.

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  (847): stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed. http://tfl.nu/vt40
  Replies (4) Good night (1102) Bad night (768) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan

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  (813): I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan http://tfl.nu/4qu1
  Replies (4) Good night (883) Bad night (319) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.

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  (603): It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night. http://tfl.nu/ygzt
  Replies (1) Good night (783) Bad night (235) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.

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  (606): The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff. http://tfl.nu/i8ga
  Replies (1) Good night (483) Bad night (219) Order T-Shirt

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