How is your vagina???
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom