Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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