You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
