Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
