Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
