brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
