I must be too annoying 4 u.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
