Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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