I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
