i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
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If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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