Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..