i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
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It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
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I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..