She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes