Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
