i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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