gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
