I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
