I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
