HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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