So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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