dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
