Non-Jews are for practice
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
