I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
